SITREP Oops
A military story
Back when I was in Okinawa, I had gotten my line number for Staff Sergeant, and off to Airmen Leadership School (ALS) I went. ALS = the special leadership training you have to go through before you become an NCO.
One day we had a special guest instructor. Our desks consisted of three long tables set in a U shape so that the instructor could walk around and interact with us as he taught. If there was one thing to be said about ALS, it was that they were fair with breaks so that we could use the facilities or grab a bite from the vending machines. They did not care if you ate a snack during class so long as you weren’t disruptive.
My story begins when we came back from a break.
I had grabbed myself a small bag of M&Ms because I needed something to hold me over until lunch. I sat in my spot as everyone filed back into the room. The instructor proceeded to go over a serious topic (unfortunately, I’ve forgotten the actual topic, but let’s pretend he was talking about something as sensitive as what to do if one of your subordinates is showing signs of depression).
Once we were all seated, he started his lecture. I quietly grabbed my M&Ms and figured a quick tear to the corner would do the trick. I tugged at the plastic, but nope! It made a hair raising wrinkling sound, so I set them in my lap and tried again--Before I continue, yes, this story is going exactly where you think it is.
The tiny bag refused to open.
No matter what I did, the darned plastic would not tear. I put them back on the table and decided to try again later. I took notes as any dutiful student would and tried again.
I picked up the bag, pulled at the little flap in the back, and
POP!
M&Ms flew everywhere. It was a shock and awe of colorful chocolate candies raining down on the table, thundering like an F15 down the flight-line. I froze, my face transfixed into an expression of utter horror. Not only had my precious snack rained all over the table, but one of the M&Ms smacked the instructor in the chest.
He looked at me, his face a serene picture of calmness. All eyes were on me. Silence clung to the air. He looked down at his feet, bent over, picked up the culprit, and ate it.
He walked over to me and picked a few off the table and ate them.
I sat, with my mouth gaping open. I couldn’t form words or utter an apology because how do you come back from such a disaster?
“You going to clean those up, or do I have to eat them all?” he asked. He stepped back and laughter erupted from his form, and soon, we were all laughing.
Yes, this really happened! Leave it to me to be the one to open a bag of candy for the classic candy explosion!
Back when I was in Okinawa, I had gotten my line number for Staff Sergeant, and off to Airmen Leadership School (ALS) I went. ALS = the special leadership training you have to go through before you become an NCO.
One day we had a special guest instructor. Our desks consisted of three long tables set in a U shape so that the instructor could walk around and interact with us as he taught. If there was one thing to be said about ALS, it was that they were fair with breaks so that we could use the facilities or grab a bite from the vending machines. They did not care if you ate a snack during class so long as you weren’t disruptive.
My story begins when we came back from a break.
I had grabbed myself a small bag of M&Ms because I needed something to hold me over until lunch. I sat in my spot as everyone filed back into the room. The instructor proceeded to go over a serious topic (unfortunately, I’ve forgotten the actual topic, but let’s pretend he was talking about something as sensitive as what to do if one of your subordinates is showing signs of depression).
Once we were all seated, he started his lecture. I quietly grabbed my M&Ms and figured a quick tear to the corner would do the trick. I tugged at the plastic, but nope! It made a hair raising wrinkling sound, so I set them in my lap and tried again--Before I continue, yes, this story is going exactly where you think it is.
The tiny bag refused to open.
No matter what I did, the darned plastic would not tear. I put them back on the table and decided to try again later. I took notes as any dutiful student would and tried again.
I picked up the bag, pulled at the little flap in the back, and
POP!
M&Ms flew everywhere. It was a shock and awe of colorful chocolate candies raining down on the table, thundering like an F15 down the flight-line. I froze, my face transfixed into an expression of utter horror. Not only had my precious snack rained all over the table, but one of the M&Ms smacked the instructor in the chest.
He looked at me, his face a serene picture of calmness. All eyes were on me. Silence clung to the air. He looked down at his feet, bent over, picked up the culprit, and ate it.
He walked over to me and picked a few off the table and ate them.
I sat, with my mouth gaping open. I couldn’t form words or utter an apology because how do you come back from such a disaster?
“You going to clean those up, or do I have to eat them all?” he asked. He stepped back and laughter erupted from his form, and soon, we were all laughing.
Yes, this really happened! Leave it to me to be the one to open a bag of candy for the classic candy explosion!
